Sorry. I'm back now. I don't know what my problem is that I can't fulfill one silly little blogging promise...
I have an excuse, though. And I think it's a good one. In the last couple of months, Mr. Wanderlust and I tied the knot! I'm a married woman now, officially so. I knew he was my soulmate when I first met him, though. Married life is certainly different, but it's good. I never thought I'd be a wife at 20, but I'm enjoying it.
It's interesting, how women are pushed in very polar opposite directions. Either you're a suitable wife and mother, under which circumstances you ought to not have a job, get married and be faithful, rear children, and like every moment of it...or you're an "independent woman," which means you shouldn't be married until later life, should immediately get a degree and a post graduate education, and establish some sort of lucrative and powerful career. Preferably before the whole marriage bit.
I'm not going to lie in my damn blog, a part of me felt a little... ashamed for getting married young. Not for any intrinsic reason, just because I felt like I let people down by getting married. Grandparents who wanted me to be successful and all that. It doesn't help that getting married coincided with me not doing so well in school, which surprised everyone because my GPA is good and I'm an honors student. It's true, though, that marriage is a major life change and other things seem to take a backseat. I couldn't keep up with the changes related, plus working full time in a crazy restaurant job, and maintaining my debate scholarship, and then school. I dropped three classes, am in danger of failing another... if I work hard I can pull a C, but all motivation is gone. Especially because the hand of the military is reaching down and grabbing Joe and now me because I'm his wife and uprooting us from our quaint and somewhat dissatisfying Alaskan lifestyles to Suffolk, England in the not super far future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited about England and I love seeing new things. I get to live in Europe for three years. It almost seems enchanting. But... it's hard to put forth your best in school when you're overworked and going through serious changes and know you probably won't get to finish your degree anyway because you're being swept away by the storm of life.
However, I don't think people look at me and see that. They appear to look at me and decide I've suddenly lost 30 IQ points and become your "typical housewife," an opinion which is apparently supposed to be shame inducing. Independent women prototypes aren't supposed to get married young and drop out of college, and vice versa, I guess.
Whatever. I shouldn't let society get the best of me. I know I'm a smart girl, and Joe has enduring faith in my intelligence. He's my family. So that should really be enough for me. And it is. I'm just acclimating.
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